5 Random Things That Look Like Martin Shkreli

Martin Shkreli, also known as the “most hated man in America,” has been a businessman, a CEO, an internet troll, the owner of a $2 million dollar Wu-Tang album, and most recently, a convicted felon. He’s also been banned from websites like Twitter, Facebook, Ok Cupid, Club Penguin, and many more.shkreli-universalnewssport

Shkreli’s claim to fame came in 2015 when his company Turing Pharmaceuticals acquired Deraprim–a medication used by patients with HIV–and promptly raised the price from $13.50 per pill to $750 per pill. QuaintGloomyAltiplanochinchillamouse-size_restrictedEarlier this month, he was sentenced to seven years in federal prison for committing securities fraud. He was also ordered to forfeit nearly $7.4 million dollars in assets.

img_0128-1So in honor of “Pharma Bro” himself, here’s 5 random things that look like inmate number 87850-053:

1. Scotch Tape

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They say that if you stare at a picture of Martin Shkreli for long enough without blinking and then immediately look at a roll of Scotch tape, his face will magically appear on the roll of Scotch tape.

2. Stingy Spoilero From Lazytown

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Stingy Spoilero was once set to star in an upcoming Martin Shkreli biopic for HBO that was to be directed by the legendary Martin Scorsese, but unfortunately had to back out due to scheduling conflicts.

3. Carpenter Ant

Did you know that Shkreli descends from a long line of hardworking Carpenter ants? His great-grandfather was actually 66.69% Carpenter ant.

4. Mr. Bean

There’s a rather strange conspiracy theory which claims that Mr. Bean is actually Martin Shkreli in disguise. Not only that, but according to the theory, Mr. Bean/Shkreli is an immortal god that doesn’t age who was banished and exiled to planet Earth for all of eternity, and gets his kicks by trolling basic normies.

5. A Bar Of Soap With Loose Strands Of Hair On It

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You may see a hairy bar of soap, but what I see is the duality of man personified in the flesh. Think about it: in order to clean ourselves, we must do it while washing ourselves with a not-so-clean bar of soap; and in order to become a wealthy businessman with a net worth of over $27 million dollars, you must do it while being the most hated man in the country. The human condition is indeed a peculiar oddity.

Stay clean while you’re behind bars, Mr. Shkreli. Or at the very least, just don’t drop the hairy soap.

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