As a cis-gender, heterosexual male, I love consensual sexual intercourse–especially with a woman. Now, we all have our fair share of kinks and guilty pleasures inside the bedroom, but the most common one of all is talking. We’ve all done it–whether you’re cheering on your partner, expressing your gratitude, or even giving friendly tips and advice. An […]Read More 5 Things Men Love To Hear Women Say During Intercourse
Whoopi Goldberg is a comedian and entertainer, I guess. I think at one time or another, she use to be funny–at least, that’s what my grandma told me. Now, she’s mostly known for spewing her uninformed political opinions alongside other washed up comedians on ABC’s hit TV show, The View (not to be confused with […]Read More 5 Random Things That Look Like Whoopi Goldberg
It’s about goddamn time. After nearly seventy years of endless (and boring) war, North and South Korea appear to have found a peace treaty that both parties can get behind. The idea was conceived while the leader of North Korea, Kim Jong-Un, was watching an episode of Celebrity Wife Swap. “It’s so crazy, it just […]Read More Korean Leaders Exchange First Born Child To Ensure Peace
Every once in a while, a meme comes along that reminds us why exactly we meme in the first place. Memes have become much more than just silly, comical images shared amongst the citizens of the internet. Memes have transcended to the point where they can spark controversial movements in the span of a click; […]Read More Walmart Yodel Boy – Meme Review
Earthlings everywhere are completely and utterly dumbfounded, and justifiably so. Last week, a gang of predominately privileged white men relentlessly criticized and harassed a harmless A.I. humanoid. The A.I. known as Zuckerberg, was kidnapped and tied to a chair for two whole days, where he was fed nothing but endless glasses of tap water. Worst […]Read More Old, Cranky, And Out Of Touch White Men Take Turns Yelling At Malfunctioning A.I.
What some are claiming to be a religious miracle, others are claiming to be a blasphemous fallacy. On Easter Sunday, a man who prefers to be addressed as Jesus Christ, is said to have been resurrected from the dead near a small town in Texas. Why would our Messianic Lord and Savior choose Texas of […]Read More Jesus Christ Rises From The Dead And Now Faces Life In Prison
Martin Shkreli, also known as the “most hated man in America,” has been a businessman, a CEO, an internet troll, the owner of a $2 million dollar Wu-Tang album, and most recently, a convicted felon. He’s also been banned from websites like Twitter, Facebook, Ok Cupid, Club Penguin, and many more. Shkreli’s claim to fame […]Read More 5 Random Things That Look Like Martin Shkreli
In the vast expanses of the ephemeral, never-ending meme realm, Spongebob has continued to prove itself as a prosperous and reliable goldmine for all. Over the past few years now, Spongebob has expeditiously spread its sphere of influence all across the meme economy like no other. It’s undoubtedly the most meme-able TV show in existence […]Read More Savage Patrick – Meme Review
Last week, several highly controversial documents obtained by Wikileaks revealed that a top-secret fast-food restaurant is currently operating beneath the sacred floors of the illustrious White House. According to the classified reports, President Donald Trump covertly orchestrated the construction of an underground Carl’s Jr. facility; whose sole purpose is to serve greasy, meaty hamburgers to […]Read More Is There Really A Carl’s Jr. Inside The White House?
America’s most beloved French-speaking skunk, Pepé Le Pew, is now facing multiple accusations from several wild critters, claiming the skunk committed egregious acts of sexual assault upon them. The infamous skunk is best known for his involvement in the Looney Tunes franchise, as well as other frequent short film appearances for numerous Warner Bros. projects […]Read More Pepé Le Pew Accused Of Sexual Assault